So THAT’s why…

Something has been on my mind for a while – it shouldn’t have been because I have my Master now and it may make me sound like a hypocrite…

I have been curious as to why the ex was sooo happy to get rid of me – even encouraging me to “follow my dream” by moving to Johannesburg, leaving him behind. Well, thank you, FB and WhatsApp for showing me today! WhatsApp profile picture: him and some other woman – we had been together for approximately 2 years, living together for about 1 and all I had to show for it was 2 photographs of the two of us together which never got displayed as anything. While I know that life does not revolve around WhatsApp and FB, it made me feel like like he was ashamed to let people know that I was his significant other and that hurt like hell.

So, next up… The FB status: “A good guy will tell you you’re beautiful. A real gentleman will make you believe it!!!!” Comment from the other woman: “Thanks for being a real gentlemen and treating me like a Princess x” As for “Princess”? She wouldn’t know a “real gentleman” if one slapped her on the ass! 

I did not go looking for this info but when someone sends you a message for your birthday, you read it and if you’re like me, you notice things like profile pictures – I am a visual person *shrug*. And FB? FB has this terrible thing called a news feed… Which I am now going to edit so I can remove things I don’t want/need to see – didn’t know that you could do this *lol*

 While all this has made me incredibly angry, it has also shown me how fortunate I am to have Master in my life. Although I am broken, He has seen beauty and potential in me and, through my service to Him, He will help to grow these things so I can be the person He sees hidden inside me. I will do my best – yes, I will stumble and fall at times – to make sure that He is proud to call me His slave…

First Times

I was privileged to spend last weekend with my Master and I was able to experience a number of “firsts”.

On Friday, I got meet my sister slave in a way I never expected to meet anyone. We were both blindfolded and unaware that there was someone else in the house besides Master. He then guided the two of us through a very intense introduction. There were 3 firsts involved in this for me – the blindfold, the sexual intimacy with another woman as well sexual intimacy that involved more than 2 people. The three of us then went to play pool and have a couple of drinks. I really enjoyed spending time with both my sister slave and our Master – nice to be able to speak to people who understand where I am coming from.

Sister had to work on Saturday so Master and I spent most of the day just lounging around – I was so happy to be able to be in His presence. When Sister returned, we started getting ready for another first for me which was going to a Play Party. I was very nervous but Sister and Master both helped me choose what to wear. Sister also said that she would look after me and Master would NEVER let anyone take advantage of me. 

It was very interesting seeing other people play in real life as opposed to just seeing photographs and I met some interesting people. What was fantastic about it, was that nobody made me feel like I was unwelcome – although with Master being who He is and as well known as He is, I don’t think anyone would dare.

I experienced proper rope play for the first time as well as receiving my first public spanking. I know Master went easy on me as I saw what He did to the friend who had convinced Him to attend the party – He hasn’t been to one for a long time. Even though He went easy on me, I still had some nice bruises on my ass – not as spectacular as the ones He inflicted on His friend but I will get there eventually. I asked Master permission to add her on FB as I don’t really know anyone in the lifestyle besides Him and Sister in person. She has been in the lifestyle for about 10 years and I feel that there is a lot that I can learn from her that will help me please Master and He gave me His consent. I now have her on WhatsApp as well and she has said that she will gladly answer any questions that I may have.

I want to know as much as possible so that Master will be as proud to call me His slave as I am to have been chosen to be His slave.

 

All in due time…

Wow… It’s over a year since I was on here last!

Due to various circumstances, one of which was me getting involved with my ex again – yes, I know this is never a good idea – my Master released me from service. I thought I was happily involved but yeah, thought is the operative word. I still found myself longing for the instruction and discipline of someone who understood my needs. I tried introducing my ex to the “softer” side of bdsm but it simply wasn’t in him. Anyway, we dated for just over a year, until 4 days before Valentine’s Day, he decided it was over.

I had still been in contact via FB with my Master regarding various different things (non-bdsm related) and asked if it would be alright if we got together for coffee since I would be in Jo’burg occasionally because of work. He agreed and my heart soared at the thought of being able to just have a cup of coffee with Him. Conversation continued to a point where I told Him that I found it hard to think of Him in any other way besides “my Master” and He agreed that we could give it another try, warning me that He is wiser and stricter. I am doing my best to follow the instructions that He has given me – I am still learning and sometimes my job has a tendency to make things difficult but things will be much better as soon as I can get that under control. I will do everything possible to make sure that He is proud of me.

Work decided at the end of March to transfer me permanently to Jo’burg which suited me perfectly – closer to Master and far away from the drama that seems to permeate where I was. The complete fresh start that I had been looking for over a year ago… I guess everything does happen when it’s supposed to. I needed to learn that a “normal” relationship simply doesn’t work for me – I need more and that is something only He can give me.